Another act of violence. A week ago it was Gilroy, California. This time it’s home. I live in El Paso, Texas. I was not born here. Like many others I moved here for family reasons and have spent the majority of my life here. This is my home. My home was violently attacked this weekend by someone who was filled with hate.
I last wrote about a mass shooting after the Parkland, Florida incident. I was horrified then and was focused on the guns. It’s different this time around. It always is when it affects you personally. I was lucky. My family and loved ones are all safe. But there is that initial moment of terror when you first hear the news and wonder. You wonder where your family is and where your friends are. My first action when I saw the breaking news was to reach out to the people I care about to find out that all were okay. Terror filled moments while you stare at your phone waiting for a reply text or call. There were calls to answer as family and friends from out of town were checking in. The texts from co-workers to make sure all are safe. Then there’s the horror that washes over you as you watch the news and find out the magnitude of the situation. Shock. Disbelief. And then just pure sadness.
El Paso is a fairly quiet town. We are on the border with Ciudad Juarez and that irony is not lost on me. El Paso is one of the safest cities in the country and we live next door to the fifth most dangerous city in the world. El Paso is an eclectic mix of people due to the Fort Bliss Army base that runs through the center of the city. We are a family focused community. The Hispanic culture dominates our landscape. El Paso is known for our hospitality to visitors and welcoming attitude for new arrivals. We are considered a poor community, but we take care of our own. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but constantly striving to do more and be better while retaining our sense of family and community.
So it was shocking to think that one of our own might have been behind this mass shooting that claimed the lives of 20 people and injured 27 more. There was almost a sense of relief in finding out that the shooter was an outsider who drove over 600 miles to carry out this hateful act, a 22-year old man who decided that his hate outweighed the lives of these individuals and the peace of mind of this community. Hate for a Mexican people whom he never even knew. El Paso became his target for no other reason other than we were a Hispanic community on the border of those he targeted with his hate.
I don’t understand white supremacy or anyone’s belief that they are superior to anyone based on color, gender or ethnicity. People are people. We should be celebrating both our similarities and our differences. There’s no room for superiority or supremacy. Especially not on a characteristic that is outside anyone’s control. A person doesn’t choose the color of their skin, their ethnic background, gender or sexuality. To hate someone for something that is completely random makes no sense to me. And to act on that hate with violence is particularly abhorrent. No, I don’t understand and quite honestly I don’t want to.
I made the mistake of turning to social media while I was trying to grapple with the idea that it was my home on CNN, MSNBC and Fox. I was shocked that one of the first posts I read was posted by someone I thought was a friend and his first words were about hating this city. And while he goes on to say that he hates the violence more and offers prayers to the people and the city, I say don’t bother. If your prayers come attached to your hate then you can keep both. We don’t need either from you. It made a very bad day that much worse because I knew that I was losing a friend. Someone that I have known or thought I knew for almost 35 years. That’s not the kind of person much less a friend that I want in my life.
El Paso is now part of club that no one wants membership. The site of a mass shooting. We are forever linked with other cities that have had to deal with this kind of violence. There’s a loss of innocence that comes with this new membership. No longer can we say that this doesn’t happen in our city. El Pasoans will forever be able to empathize with others who have survived. We share a terrible burden with the citizens of Dayton who are also experiencing this new club membership that no one wants to have.
What I want is to have friends that support me and my home. I want a President and Congress to speak out against the hate, not encourage it. I want it to be harder for these hatemongers to spew their venom on the internet. I want it to be harder for hate filled people to have access to the guns. I want a President and Congress that are willing to take action to prevent this from happening to another community. I want the citizens of this country to vote and take a stand against racism and violence. There are so many other issues that need to be dealt with. We don’t have time to continually fight each other. I want my country back.
It would be remiss of me to not express gratitude for our police department, fire department and the hundreds of first responders and care givers that do their jobs every single day and who stepped up in a very big way during this tragedy. I have heard so many stories of heroism and community outreach. Stories of drivers clearing the road to make way for the nurses and doctors trying to get to the hospitals that needed them. The immediate response for blood donors and volunteers helping the survivors and families of the victims was overwhelming. Affirmation that there are still good people in the world.
I am so proud to be a member of this community. I am proud to call El Paso my home. And it is that pride that is going to help me get past the anger and the sadness. Pride that refuses to allow a hate filled stranger to taint my home and way of life. Hate has no place here. We will persevere. We will keep moving forward. We will continue to embrace visitors and newcomers. We will continue to live, laugh and love.
