I recently read an incredible opinion piece in the NY Times about the perils of the internet. Mr. Bruni’s article was focused on the recent acts of violence committed – shooting in Pittsburgh, attempted pipe bombs, etc. He’s not wrong about what the internet has become. There was a time when I was part of the Kool Aid crowd and thought that the internet was the greatest invention since the automobile. Being able to find information at the touch of a keyboard or learning a new skill with a click of a mouse brought on an incredible rush. All that knowledge and learning right at your fingertips was pretty heady for a nerd that reads and has questions about anything and everything. Perfect for the person who enjoys learning new things and hates the traditional classroom format. For that person, the internet was the perfect new toy. Unfortunately like all new toys, man inevitable finds a way to break it.

The limits of free speech have always been defined by the understanding that it can do no public harm. In championing a free internet with no restrictions, we lost sight of the do no harm mandate. Being able to research bomb making or colluding with other with similar ideological thinking to incite violence are not and should not be justified under the guise of the cost of free speech. Innocents should not lose their lives under the auspices of a free and independent internet. The President of the United States spouting racially charged comments at a rally or posting them in a tweet is tantamount to yelling fire in a crowded theater. These are beyond the limits of what we know to be free speech.

In his article, Mr. Bruni makes the following reference, “Speaking at a conference in Brussels, Tim Cook, the chief executive of Apple, warned, “Platforms and algorithms that promised to improve our lives can actually magnify our worst human tendencies.”” Not a truer quote has been said. We took the beauty of the internet and somehow created a society that is divisive and isolating, where children committing suicide is on the rise and bullying happens on a global scale. In thinking about how the internet has impacted my life, I realize that being my own worst enemy has taken on new scope and definition. I went from being an extrovert to an introvert during my teen years. And as I experienced the ups and downs of life, I developed a certain level of social anxiety as I got older. It was never to the extent that it interfered with how I lived my life. That is until recently.

All social anxiety means to me is that I have difficulty with social situations. For most people, sending a text message, making a phone call or just issuing an invitation to lunch are simple activities that they perform every day without a thought. For me, there’s nothing but thought and fear behind those activities. It becomes work to instigate a text message or place a call – even to someone I think of as family or friend. I’ve taken 20 minutes to issue a simple text because I get stuck overanalyzing the words and trying to imagine what the person on the receiving end might think. I even get caught trying to figure out the best time to send the message. Things that other people never consider, cause me great anxiety. I’ve lost valued relationships because of my inability to just reach out and say hello. Most days I’m able to work through the anxiety and behave like a “normal” person. But there are times when I can’t get out of my own head – being my own worst enemy. I’ve noticed that in the last several years, it’s gotten much worse. And the bouts of reclusiveness have gotten longer and longer. It’s harder to snap out of it. And I’ve come to the conclusion that the internet has played an important part in that.

Excluding my family, my most meaningful conversation over the last three weeks has been with the pizza delivery driver and that was because it was rare rainy day here in the desert.  It’s a hard thing to admit that my phone is my best friend and only connection to the outside world.  Even harder to admit that it’s more about the connection to the internet than it is to my personal contacts.  Being connected to the world through the internet is the equivalent of being alone in a crowded room, something I’m very well acquainted with.  I’ve cut back on my internet access.  And I can prove that because the notification on my phone/iPad told me my usage is down 6% from last week which was down 12% from the week before.  Crazy, right?  Actually I know my internet usage is down because I’ve sworn off social media.  Temporarily I have to interact with it while in my current job, but that’s as much as I’ve allowed.  I’m working on the reaching out to friends.  And make no mistake, it is work for me.  Take pity and keep that in mind the next time you wonder where I’ve disappeared to.

As to the internet, it’s current incarnation is a reflection of the people that use it.  I suspect that if we continue to leave it to it’s own devices, it will continue to spiral into a dark place.  I’m not a big fan of government oversight, but in this case China might actually have the right idea though in a very extreme kind of way.  If businesses and individuals cannot figure out how to use the Internet for good, then maybe we need a guiding hand to keep us on the right road.  That hurts to even write.  But I cannot deny that the negative impact of the Internet has very grave consequences.  People have needlessly died.  Like a gun, knife or vehicle, the Internet has been used as tool to cause harm to our fellow man.  And like those other tools, we might have to consider that some level of oversight is needed.

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I finally got around to voting during the early voting period.  I can’t say that I felt any sense of accomplishment or excitement about the process.  Other than to say I was pretty impressed with the ease of the process.  Texas is clever.  They’ve made voting pretty simple.  It’s the state issued ID that can be complicated.  I also found the senior center (which was the polling center closest to my home) to be pretty nice.  I was surprised.  Not that I’ve hung out at a lot of senior citizen centers for comparisons, but the place was well lit and clean.  There were two older women sitting on a couch arguing about whatever program they were watching on the television.  There were classrooms for activities and bookshelves that were overflowing.  I made sure to point out the positives to my mom who’s retiring after the next school year.  For some reason she wasn’t as enthusiastic as I was about the place.  LOL

I also read an article about a city councilman in Irvine, CA getting caught on camera leaving his 86-year old mother on the street corner to panhandle.  And she was in a wheelchair.  Can you get better optics than that?  The funny part of the story is that he’s in the midst of running for re-election.  My mom was not amused by my other option for her retirement.  Honestly, I was just offering suggestions.