Originally, I was sure I would be writing about something related to the Olympics. And that was true until about 12:30pm MST when the news broke of another school shooting. This time it was in Parkland, Florida. I don’t have children and I’ve never been anywhere near this kind of violence, so I’m not going to pretend that I understand how the victims or the community is feeling. That doesn’t stop me from asking the same question as everyone else. Why again? And as with everything in life there is no simple answer.

The immediate reaction is to focus on gun control or lack thereof. Full disclosure – I’m a supporter of gun rights and the 2nd Amendment. The actual wording in the Constitution is “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” To my way of thinking, when considering the context of the time period it made sense that the founding fathers would include this as a basic right of Americans. The British had tried to squash the rebellion and one way to do so was to ban the colonists from owning weapons. The key word for me in the clause is “a well regulated militia,” which is military. Does that mean it excludes private citizens? No, of course not. But they had just fought a war and their focus was on the military. Additionally, there is no way they would have been able to ever imagine how weapons would have developed over the years. So while I support gun rights, I also believe in limits. I have no problems with background checks and bans for those on a terrorist watch list or confirmed mental disorders. I also think that assault type, military grade weapons have no business being in the hands of the average person. And then there’s hunting and home protection. Both important and I respect anyone’s right to do both, but again with limits. Owning a gun should be more than just having money to buy the weapon and ammunition. Owning a car comes with more restrictions – license, registration, annual inspections and liability insurance. No one argues about that. But gun rights and gun control are just one part of the problem.

Mental health issues are also a problem in this country. There is still a stigma attached to having a mental health problem. From depression to bipolar disorder, there is a serious lack of discussion regarding these topics. Teens in particular seem to be having more issues with depression than ever before. Bullying is on the rise. Social media status has become the norm. It’s hard to deal with when you don’t fit in and you’re not encouraged to talk about it. How often is a teen or any person told to “just get over it” or to “let it go”? I know I have said those phrases many times and to my knowledge without any severe negative effect other than hurt feelings. But I don’t really know that, do I? Everyone says a simple smile and hello to a person can have a positive impact on someone’s day. That would mean that the opposite is true also. And without concrete proof, I cannot say that my words have never caused any serious harm. The problem with mental health disorders is that you can’t tell by looking at someone that they suffer from one. We assume that everyone can be taken at face value. That would be nice, if only it were true. But in order to de-stigmatize, we need to start discussing the issues of mental health. Solutions come from discussion. One of the analysts discussing the Parkland shooting made a very good point. As citizens we can’t necessarily force Congress to act on gun control. We can and should vote for people that represents our points of view, but we can’t actually make anything happen. What we can do is start the discussion and change our own way of handling our day to day interactions with people. Small steps can lead to change. And something needs to change.

My bigger fear is that people really start to believe this is the new normal. To believe that school shootings or mass shootings of any kind are normal would be to accept what happened. And I can’t accept what happened. Being angry at the world, for whatever reason, is not a rational excuse to shoot and murder innocent people. Collectively we have to figure out how to stop violence being the first tool in dealing with life. When I was kid my mom always told me that no matter how angry I got or how mean someone else was to me, I wasn’t allowed to hit them. And then it was that we should stand up for ourselves when being bullied. But somewhere along the line the message got muddled. Violence became the first resort instead of the last. And that’s what needs to start changing. And we can say that it’s the music we listen to, the television shows and movies we watch or that the President of the United States incites it, but those are just excuses. I don’t want my community or my country to ever accept that a mass shooting or violence in general is normal. We can’t expect laws to shape our society. Laws are the rules and boundaries we live by, but they don’t shape our society. The people within that society are the ones to do that.

There will be more discussion and rhetoric over the coming days regarding the reasons why a 19-year old former student decided to take an AR-15 to a school to cause murder and mayhem. There will be theories and blame a plenty. And I will be watching the news and reading the stories like many others. All I can offer is my heartfelt sympathies to the victims and their families and the promise to try. To try to be more open and empathetic. To try and be better.